Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Jia lat la.. the start of my new r/s is like thrashing liao.. what happennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..

I siao kia la.. wah lao eh.. i feel so chee cham lor.. wtf.. rene ar.. jia lat le.. i think it's a transitional period la hor? Na bei.. i feel like shit sia.. i start to hate men and stuffs.. start to doubt men.. start to think this think that.. wtf.. i proposed a -no meeting- with him for 1 week sia.. to clear my head.. wtf la.. wtf wtf wtf.. jia lat laaaaa!

When i first know darling he's a sweet one ler.. everything's so sweet sweet de.. till now still sweet la.. but i'm somehow.. hesitating liao leh.. i don't wanna move on for a while.. i hate this feeling sia.. i recognise this shit feeling lor.. It happened on me before.. when i'm with number 2. Nabei cb la.. why must it come back and haunt me.. super fuck up sia.. #$%^&*(*^%$#@$%^& go away leh u fuck up feeling.. siam far far and don't ever return to me !

argh.. i feel like i'd lost him. (as in new darling)
don't know why feel like that leh, but ok la, he's still by my side. I guess this feeling is definitely worse than my pms ok.. so long no blog cuz sweet honey mood feeling ma.. den today i'm down with this shit feeling. Knn..

Shit feeling

Shit feeling means a mixed up feeling of insecurity, mistrust, low self-esteem, no enthusiasiam in everything i do, low confidence, highly histronic, paranoid, heart breaking feeling, very lj attitude problem, rude, and a feeling where i wanna let go of myself to no where.

This feeling.. damn it.. only when i am with my number 2 lor. den i feel lidat. breakup with him liao still feel this with another guy. confirm + guarantee + chop is my bloody problem la. I need a fucking load of time to heal liao la.. ninabei.. i don't wan to feel like that leh.. i'll hurt many hearts feeling like that. But i cant help it la.

I WANT BACK THE KINDA FEELING I HAD WHEN I'M STILL FRIENDS WITH MY DARLING.. why lidat sia.. whyyyyyyy.. because it's sweet.. =)

now be together with him.. perhaps it's too fast le, i feel that i cannot give him my all.. means, i cannot commit! i don't even know myself now. I'm like shit. a fucking pile of .. shit.. wah lao.. *long bia* I don't know if i love him liao leh.. if i feel this way.. i'm confusing myself leh.. my "wai biao" sibei cool looking.. but frankly, my inner walls are threatening to collapse liao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i needa doctor to help me.. =( If darling can cure this "sickness" of mine, he's really meant to be with me and be mine liao. But really.. i doubt he can take it oso.. my AP can get really jia lat one lor.. for no reason i can keep so quiet all of a sudden de.. =( i wan hug him.. and let him sayang me back..

Perhaps my da- yi - ma coming la.. jia lat la.. that's why i feel like that.. I want him to cuddle me now leh.. i need his arm and chest to lie upon la.. ='( shit la.. why am i feeling both good and bad. unpredictable me.

hope i'll get better when i wake up.. Shit u stupid samsung.. Better be good u stupid fone.. If i cant read sms again i'll really bring u back to ur manufacturer liao!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

still last few word..
darling.. i need u by my side now..
don't wanna fight this battle alone..
but seems like i've got no choice..

*sobx hard*

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |6:28 PM|