Monday, May 28, 2007

看开。。。

Many times when new people come into your life and deliver something fresh to you, what do you really... remember?

• Do you remember what was the first thing you did, that makes people remember you for life?
• Do you remember what was the first thing you said, that made one felt like they have been taught a new life's lesson?
• Do you remember what was your first impression of that new "someone" that led you to be "careful" or "carefree" with how you were to behave?
• Do you still remember, that you had been on good terms with this someone before, and that relationship was soured because of some misunderstanding or fault on either's part?
• Do you even remember clearly, what was that very thing that intrigued you or detered you, from being constantly attracted to, or try to avoid, that particular person?

Actually, what was typed above is not important to me anymore. I've decided to 看开 many things that created some "hoo-haa" in my life. Perhaps I'm too sensitive and very easily induced then, I must admit that I had not seriously given any positive thoughts to what I had typed above. However, I realised that I'm the one who was 一厢情愿 all along.

Fact is that...

No one actually bothers with what you think. They will criticise you, saying that you were overly sensitive, you need 100% attention, you were this, or that....... etc...

Come to think of it now, everything is actually OK. Why do you need to be bothered by what others think of you right? Even if you are sad right now, you cry, you know you need a shoulder. So long as no one is willing or is there to offer you one, you cry alone. What is the additional burden to think that you are more pathetic than before because you did not have a someone there for you? Don't you have you to stand by youself?

I'd learnt something new. For sure... In order to grow, you must have mental strength. Maturity is something that you will definitely acquire as you age. But mental strength is different. It determines how you want to feel, what you must be thinking and you are in CONTROL of your ownself. Be it emotions. Be it a hardship for you to shoulder. Ultimately, you dig your own graves at last. No one is there except you. You need to do something more... and that is, to start LOVING YOURSELF.

I never know of loving myself much, until I met someone who had the conviction to made me realise this. As he always said, "I never give anyone advice. If you are going to fall down, I'm not going to help you up. Not at all. But I will definitely be by your side, to encourage you to pick yourself up."

Everything that makes you pick yourself up, seriously, isn't the encouragement. It is your own will and your fire within you. If you are really determined, it is enough to fire you so much that you want to pick yourself up. Encouragements are just additional mental strength from external source. It is important. Very important. You are lucky if you have this person in your life. They will definitely help you to make you mark your direction for your life's journey, though you need to walk by yourself.

I once had a complicated mind. It is still in the process of untangling. However, it is what I had realised in myself... Don't think too much. Everything is actually very simple. If you disagree with what I said... You are thinking too much. =) isn't it? haha...

OH ya... I'm now studying for my M9 Exams... I NEED TO PASS IT. Hey people who chanced upon this post... Please give me your blessings. Additional mental strength!!! wahaha... Thanks ya! =D

*mugginggggggggggg... ^_^v*

Labels: happy, MUGGING.., simple, Untangled

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |1:52 AM|
Sunday, May 20, 2007

-_- reali cannot stand myself studying such papers. It is a thick book that I must devour it all over again, after M5, and sit for my examS, pass at first seating, in 2 weeks time.

Oh. whatever it is, I still think that it's wonderous having passed my M5 exam, when I only studied them for 2 days, about 16 hours nonstop. How smart can I be?! muahaha... shit... i'm just bullshitting. Though it wasn't pure luck, I really went through the pain and continue trudging the studying process like I'm forcing my shit outta my butt.. constipation...

So yeah~ I'm freed from HSBC.. Finally redeem myself lor. S-L-A-V-E-R-Y job there. Ask me what they were, and bet ya will curse and swear like I do. Even my last day at that hell hole was not spared. Can YOU imagine? I'm worse than a maid. I'm a SLAVE. but OH... I'll make a comeback, not for the company, but for what I am worth and deserve.

HSBC :
To start with, I was given the project to figure out the tariff system. COME ON... I'M LEAVING ALREADY AND WHY MUST I GO THROUGH THIS BLOODY THING TO UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT INSIDE OUT, THEN GIVE YOU ALL A DETAILED TABLE AND LIST AND EXPLANATION HOW ALL THESE TARIFFS WERE CALCULATED, COMPUTED, AND WHAT IT WAS BASED ON?! wtf...

After that, I was like a maid there tidying this and that, cuz that place was DIRTY. nb... we have a cleaner auntie, hello?!

NVM... I "ren"... until "ren wu ke ren" i talk back liao. Since i'm leaving wad, nothing to lose also mah... I just tell them off ... "i'm not your maid." and i got this fucked up reply... "you suay lor, you not my maid"... den I shoot back... "you and your nonsense.. dun talk to you liao." den i walked off. <=== tell me la, how u react?!

NVM... after that... i kena more bullies. said printer spoilt, ask me help them shred papers and etc.. so i said..." sorry, not free. you do it yourself." then she said. "you contract staff nia." so i said, "that doesn't make you a lazy bum, right?" so i walked off, heck care, and they cursed me behind. I heard, of course, turned to them and asked, "unhappy? I'm an officer, not a slave here. You don't pay my wages also, what right do you have to be unhappy about? my job is to assist your transaction, not your personal needs. Still unhappy? COMPLAIN ME LOR... i don't care liao. U sabo me lor... go la~" BUAY TAHAN. those chao zhar bor...

but whatever it is... They offered me a managerial post. It is so ridiculous. NOt because I'm young and I can get it or what. But because I got to work with them again that made me felt totally flabbergasted and SO! I'D RATHER NOT WORK WITH PEOPLE LIKE THEM... zzz so what if it's a managerial post?! WO CAI BU XI HAN!

I'll make sure they eat my feet. damn it.

but...

suan le.

It is ok. It is over. I will never keep in touch with them anyway. They will never get the chance and blessing to see me anyway.

STUDIES...
So...

Come back to this... I must reali jia you. Monday will go to my new boss de office and study le. He will be there to monitor me anyway... hehe. JIAAAAAAAAAA YOUUUUUUUUUUU BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.... -_- sian diao... I think i go back mug liao.

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |3:15 PM|
Thursday, May 10, 2007

1) Driving license next year.
2) Solitaire ring 0.3ct from Tiffany & Co.
3) Curls
4) Braces - Daemon 2
5) Tooth implant
6) Mini Cooper
7) Back to France
8) My monthly 5 figures
9) Car for dad
10) My first Six figures in my bank account.

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |8:13 PM|
Tuesday, May 08, 2007

OH MY GOD. damn paper lor. finally passed M5 le!!!

ok. a summary;

I started studying the paper only on 6th May. Exam is on the 8th May. Fucked up... So i literally spent 10 hours in Simon's office on the 7th May and mug like hell. NO joke.
*TEARS NOTES AND BOOK~!!!*

I'm lucky to have met him actually. He's going to be my "future mentor" anyways.. : ) I really look forward to 18th May now loh... hehe. shall not talk much about it here yet until it happens. *secret* =x

will settle the mess with HSBC/ AIA / RYO. WHY ON EARTH DO I HAVE SO MANY DAMN BAGGAGE. i WILL let them all down, one by one. =) I will do it.

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |10:48 PM|