Saturday, June 24, 2006
Often i said, "You don't understand me yet."
This is because of my problems in expressing myself you see. I cannot be like most normal people; to speak out my thoughts in an organised, smooth and also legible manner. I got pushed back when people prompt or rush me. My mind went blank. My words stucked in my mouth are so jammed i got to swollow it back in a whole lump... OR! i will vomit them out, but in a whole big lump too. By the time i start entangling it, straighten them out and organise them well and bla bla bla, people start to lose their patience and walked me off already. How many people in this world, could actually understand the deep feelings that lies beneath this cold and hard look i wore on my face? How many people can hear the music in my words when actually disguised by the stabbing icy sheets on them?
I cannot and I don't know how to get rid of all these "obstacles" I faced. Although I'm my own god, I'm also my own devil.
Hope that one day, he can understand me so perfectly well.
Hm. And yea, for abt a month ago, I lend hock my guts. Yaaaaaaaaaaaa, lend him 100% of my confidence and guts lor. haha now he return me liao. I felt recharged! Let's see how he return me. *see below*
Ok, this is what he drew. He said that it was guts he's returning me. Hahah. And this was what he wrote.
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
damn u hock
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
ur so creative
無言的結局 says:
wah what is this sia
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
i so jealous
無言的結局 says:
............ pengs
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
"guards" mah
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
guts
Yesh. and i was about to faint when he told me this. hahaa. So he drew another one and showed me.
無言的結局 says:
哈哈
無言的結局 says:
see liao will laugh sia
無言的結局 says:
that bean or pear is guts.. lolllllllllll
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
yuup
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
eh eh, double guts i giving u ley
---
lols. In actuality, it's not really "my guts" he's returning me. Its encouragement from him la. =) Good virtual friends are good. He's my virtual "elder bro" though. But ought to thank him too. Afterall he's been that "punchbag" for years of me knowing him. Haha. *punch!*
And last but not least, I'd also like to say thanks to darling. Thanks for being so willing to understand me. It's hard walk to path to my heart, but once you found the way and reached there, it's impossibly hard to break the bonds. Take my word for it.. =) *hugs and kisses*
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |6:27 PM|
Sunday, June 18, 2006
It was about 6.30pm when i met darling, he waited 30 mins for me and i was quite stupid really. I didn't know he's downstairs already and i was like... got quite a shock when i called him and asked where he is and he told me "ni jia lou xia". When was he there? 20 mins ago. =__= so sorry darling. i was choosing my clothes to wear to meet u. but i really didn't know u were there already...
N so we were like walking around northpoint first, and on our way there, at that interchange, ................ he stepped my BEAUTIFUL sandal and the leather snapped off... the backstrap. i was like.. "OMGGGGGGGG U STEPPED MY SHOE AGAIN!!!" plus... "u had finally spoilt it by stepping on it accidentally for so many times!".. u know.. That COWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW just won't admit that he stepped on my shoe all the time! He push the fault back to me and said i'd walked in such manner i'd somehow crossed his path and bla bla bla.. in the end it's all my faul and not his -___-" even when he stepped really hard on my feet i get the fault by being "careless" in the way i stand.
there there, and he bought me another pair of slippers. hahahaha.. he likes that "furry furry" slipper a lot lors.. BATA one.. den he bought that pink furry slippers. =/ my cow loves furry stuffs.. =D good good..
Today darling bought me a watch. Seiko Premier... sapphire glass and all.. it's beautiful.. woah.. the price quoted was $500!!! <-super ex ba. We bargained... hahaa.. and den buy 2 watches in all.. one for him another for me lors... =D he loves his watch. =.= every few minutes u'll find him looking at it so lovingly. haha.. he looks so cute when i caught him looking at his watch again, he just don't wanna admit that he kept doing that.
(*tsk..soon we'll have our Rado(s).. sure to have it!*)
N i treated him to Spaggetties for dinner.. ordered quite many things wor..
1. Cheese frondue
2. Salmon + some red wine duno what
3. Prawns + fettucine
4. Cranberry Juice
5. Plain water (counted? =x)
hahah.... i wanted to treat him coz of my graduation thingy..=) he's been so encouraging and he's been my great help for my PFP project as well.. he deserves this treat! =D
ok lar. End of my "so called" disaster.
anyways... i'd changed my blogskin cuz i find black too melancholy liaos... better to have more colors in my life than to just pure black, white, or grey. =) U ONLY LIVE UR LIFE ONCE AND FILL IT WITH ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING AND BEAUTIFUL COLOURS!
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |12:35 AM|
Friday, June 16, 2006
3.5 rounds! hahaha! its only around the reservoir.. eh eh.. i consider quite "liao bu qi" le.. i just ran and hope i can run away from all the mess sia.. x_x
i went to run with a heavy heart. it's like... i was about to cry ? But of course, i didn't. why should i cry sia. why should the tears even got that right to fall out of my eyes. I disallow that! I am my own god and i know i can make it happen, or not. So i just stop all the "swings" that came to me and took off! woah woah.. the wind in my face.. so shuang ... i like that feeling.. ar... so it was like.. how far did i run?! hahaa.. let's see...
hm... i run about.. 3.8 km today? or 4 km ba.. its so tiring and all.. bla bla.. x_x.. i thought i could have run another round.. like 4 or 5 rounds.. but i'd decided to stop running. I know i can laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I stopped because, it's time for me to stop... i feel... the feeling is strong.
N i did not do anything today useful except that. the rest of the day was like.. wasted. on something that's super trivial. on something that is totally silly. on something i'd decided i should not waste my time on anymore. i must move on. so for now, i better start to read that transcriber manual ba.
oh ya. tomorrow is the day!! OF MY RESULTS!!! hahahaa.. hope i score well. I MUST SCORE WELL.
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |9:46 PM|
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |7:53 PM|
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
It's quite zhun.. but this is the 2nd time tt i took this quiz.. cuz e first time got "hanged"? den i couldn't rmb the sequence ler.. bt i only read e first sentence abt e quiz i had took it first la... haha.. so i gues.. this 1 is definitely more accurate. i'm seriously in need of relaxation..
FULL DIAGNOSIS!!! (don't need to click link ba)
Laura's Existing Situation
Seeks a close and understanding bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy, as a protection against anxiety and conflict.
Laura's Stress Sources
Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to an anxious uncertainty, while doubts that things will be any better in the future lead to the postponement of essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, she is likely to immerse herself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.
Laura's Restrained Characteristics
Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
Laura's Desired Objective
Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and affectionate understanding. Feels she has been treated with a lack of consideration and is upset and agitated as a result. Regards her situation as intolerable as long as her requirements are not complied with.
Laura's Actual Problem
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She is trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting her from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation.
Laura's Actual Problem #2
Tensions and stresses induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities or reserves of strength have led to considerable anxiety, and a sense of personal (but admitted) inadequacy. She seeks to escape into a more peaceful and problem-free situation, in which she will no longer have to assert herself or contend with so much pressure.
Check it out! @ www.colorquiz.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:34 PM|
argh.. i must save lotsa money to get a Finance degree in London though. LONDON!!!!! my dream! hahaha.. i must get into their finance uni. =DDD... its a newly discovered passion... so i'm really interested in Investment yea?
hm...i'll play it double. I'll first work in an audit firm, then save the money to study in London, sch of finance. In this way, by the time i'm 30, i should be able to own a car and a flat, happily married and can travel liaos. afterall, i believe finance ppl can earn much higher than accounts people. Which money market shd i go in? i'm considering if i can work for an investment bank, be a dealer, or a backend swaps and option dealing table. =X
aiyarrrrrr... dream can come true de. what i said may seem so faraway... but i know. They will DEFINITELY happen. For they are gonna be mine one day.
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |5:03 PM|
Friday, June 09, 2006
It's the end the hell suffering. Its a relief, a mountainous amount of work, an impossible deadline to meet, an unimaginable demand from whom oppressed me, unreachable expectations, 100 million walts of concentrations(do not touch), fireworks galore in my brain all that caused my temporary insanity- i'd experienced.
I'd said a gazillion times how much i hated to do that project, that report, that powerpoint, the things i gotta study so hard for had extracted my soul from my body. I'd worked continuously from day to night, drowned myself in the ocean of notes, books, prints, newspapers, prospectus, annual reports, files, guideline and paper with workings done on them. My table was in such mess i gotta use the Emirates handcarry bag they gave me to contain my notes and use chairs to put some books on them. It's a horrifying sight ok. my room is in a horrible mess.
I'll get to the point now. Why is it so messy and crap?! It's all because of the masters courses i took in france. The results are out of their expectations. They suggest me to take up 2 more modules to like, measure... see which one is better den take which.. bla bla.. n said if i failed the module i took in NYP i get to retain immediately - no appeals will be accepted. So the bottomline is, i must take up the 2 modules no matter what, by saying that it was a suggestion was just to make it sound nicer. In fact, they threatened me. So.. TO HELL WITH NYP.
The 2 modules that i took was 1. Capital Markets and Financial Instrument (CMFI), 2. Personal Financial Planning (PFP).
1. CMFI
This module talks abt the share market. Everything about shares. Everything abt the equity market and it's financial instruments. u can find IPO, stock valuation, yields, WACC, MCC, IOS, everything on dividends, everything on capital structure, CAPM, SML, BLA BLA BLA HERE! n guess what...
31st May 2006
I received a project guideline...
I've got only 1.5 weeks to complete a report on everything that is covered in CMFI, do a presentation on it and be tested on everything that can be found in this module.
It's difficult for me because in france, i studied EVERYTHING ON BOND INSTEAD OF SHARES. I STUDIED A DIFFERENT MARKET, AND IT'S NOT THE EQUITY MARKET! so. It's a totally different thing for me. I gotta learn everything from scratch n this is hell. Try using 1.5 weeks to study the whole module everyone learnt them after 1 semester. It's not funny at all. Especially when everything is alien to u, n u know u gotta pass it no matter what it takes, u are left with no choice but conform to their rules and START TO MUG LIKE U HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE! I must graduate yaaaa? and this is the last motivation to keep me going.
6th June 2006
I'd finished the report 6 days after receiving the guidelines, how to do it and all. I swear to god, that i'd put in 200% of my efforts in doing it.... and guess what... IT WAS REJECTED AND I'M TOLD THAT THIS DOESN'T MATCH WITH MY LECT.'S EXPECTATION!OH HELL... so i took the report back and redo.. it's really hell.. and i took abt 2days to redo it... and worse, i couldn't complete it... bt i'd put in 1000% efforts on it.
8th June 2006
I need to hand the report up to my lect, before 5pm. I'd completed the report at 8th June, 4.15pm. took a cab down and rushed to school, for my report submission. I'd completed it on time. Unlucky things like the printer spoilt, bla bla, happened last minute. I was abt to cry. Really.
2. PFP
I'm here to clarify this. I am an accountancy(finance) student and this is my specialisation. I cannot work something that's totally out of my scope as it is not my field. Guess what. I'M FORCED TO TAKE UP THIS MODULE! AND THIS MODULE, IS AN INSURANCE MODULE!! HOW THE HELL CAN I STUDY EVERYTHING ABT INSURANCE FOR A WEEK AND BE TESTED EVERYTHING ON THAT, WHEN ALL ARE TAUGHT 6 MONTHS TO GAIN FULL KNOWLEDGE OF THIS MODULE?!
1st June 2006
For this module, i had only a week to complete it. Ok. look. i'd done it alright. I really really did it. I studied everything about insurance, i mean ALL. EVERYTHING. abt it in one week. furthermore, rushed a 12 page report that covers EVERYTHING abt PFP, did a ppt abt PFP and then.. was tested on EVERYTHING abt PFP. Just in... 1 week.
8th June 2006
I'd rushed the report like mad. Serious. and yes.. i'd completed the report on 8th June, 1.30pm. It's hell. and see, i still gotta finish with cmfi after this.
9th June 2006
Both CMFI and PFP had the same deadline. N on this day, and that is TODAY. I'm on for a presentation. I'd finally done everything last minute. I hadn't complete the ppt for "just" CMFI until 4.30am. Darling helped me with the PFP ppt, and it was until about 4am, den can he finally complete the whole thing.
!!! The time finally came and the presentation was like.. very sucky. I stuttered. I stammered. I couldn't compose myself... i was under tremendous stress. i just... brushed it through.
Viva examination was crappier. I couldn't structure my answers well. I couldn't answer them good enough so that they will give me distinction for it. However, i'd tried my best for both CMFI and PFP... though i couldn't answer some of their questions... they just kept bombarding me with questions and questions.. it's about 6 questions in total...
The sleeping hours was like crap. This insane amount of time i'd put in for both projects and examination was truly hell. I woke up at 2pm each day, start to work until 6am on average. Once, i'd woke up at 1pm, and work all the way until the next morning, 10am. I don't feel like eating lunch n dinner. I just kept working and pushing myself to my limits. I'd suffered erratic sleeping patterns for ... 8 days.
Whatever so. This is the end.
I truly feel satisfied. I didn't know i'd such capabilities at all.. and for the first time in my life, i broke down for more than 5 times and picked myself up so quickly, and back to work. I cried a fair "load". Its all due to stress (+ depression). I thought i couldn't finish it. Really...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Goals
Not exactly "goals" but.. just something that i wanted to achieve or do..
1. Be an auditor. Not assistant.
2. Study in University of London, major in Finance.
3. Save about $600 a month for my future flat. It is impt.
4. Get a presentable watch. DARLING!! I want that Criteriaaa...
5. Operation. On my teeth. Must get it done.
6. Be rich. I hate poverty
7. Be Married by 26-27.
8. Invest in stocks. I know how to play shares though.. =x this is something very important and needa be very careful about it.
9. ---------- The REST, till i'd thought abt them-----------
ok. last word.
I'd finally update this blog. aint honeymoon-ing for the past week and all... wakakaka
*Goodnews* =)))
BUT ITS THE END OF ALL MY EDUCATIONAL TIES WITH NYP! ~*YAY*~ =D
-----------------------------------------------------------
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:54 PM|
Once before, i said... "One day you will know what I'm talking about, what i truly mean and feel."
Often i said, "You don't understand me yet."
This is because of my problems in expressing myself you see. I cannot be like most normal people; to speak out my thoughts in an organised, smooth and also legible manner. I got pushed back when people prompt or rush me. My mind went blank. My words stucked in my mouth are so jammed i got to swollow it back in a whole lump... OR! i will vomit them out, but in a whole big lump too. By the time i start entangling it, straighten them out and organise them well and bla bla bla, people start to lose their patience and walked me off already. How many people in this world, could actually understand the deep feelings that lies beneath this cold and hard look i wore on my face? How many people can hear the music in my words when actually disguised by the stabbing icy sheets on them?
I cannot and I don't know how to get rid of all these "obstacles" I faced. Although I'm my own god, I'm also my own devil.
Hope that one day, he can understand me so perfectly well.
Hm. And yea, for abt a month ago, I lend hock my guts. Yaaaaaaaaaaaa, lend him 100% of my confidence and guts lor. haha now he return me liao. I felt recharged! Let's see how he return me. *see below*
Ok, this is what he drew. He said that it was guts he's returning me. Hahah. And this was what he wrote.
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
damn u hock
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
ur so creative
無言的結局 says:
wah what is this sia
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
i so jealous
無言的結局 says:
............ pengs
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
"guards" mah
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
guts
Yesh. and i was about to faint when he told me this. hahaa. So he drew another one and showed me.
無言的結局 says:
哈哈
無言的結局 says:
see liao will laugh sia
無言的結局 says:
that bean or pear is guts.. lolllllllllll
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
yuup
CLAYPOT HOCK is back with a Jackpotz!! says:
eh eh, double guts i giving u ley
---
lols. In actuality, it's not really "my guts" he's returning me. Its encouragement from him la. =) Good virtual friends are good. He's my virtual "elder bro" though. But ought to thank him too. Afterall he's been that "punchbag" for years of me knowing him. Haha. *punch!*
And last but not least, I'd also like to say thanks to darling. Thanks for being so willing to understand me. It's hard walk to path to my heart, but once you found the way and reached there, it's impossibly hard to break the bonds. Take my word for it.. =) *hugs and kisses*
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |6:27 PM|
Looking back, i've realised how nasty i really was. I saw the ugliest side in me and i'm guilty for what i'd done, none of one i could salvage cause all had passed. So can i do now is to continue to improve myself. TO be a better daughter, a better girlfriend, a better friend, a good colleague, a great wife and all in all, just a much better me. I thought i will need to control my temper more and not lose it all the time. Angry souls die faster than any souls... I must live long enough to see the good things, the good events, the good experiences, the good family, the good life all in front and ahead of me, ahead of my time now. Ultimately, the only person who will be waiting for me to change to a better me is him. is my family. is myself.
It was about 6.30pm when i met darling, he waited 30 mins for me and i was quite stupid really. I didn't know he's downstairs already and i was like... got quite a shock when i called him and asked where he is and he told me "ni jia lou xia". When was he there? 20 mins ago. =__= so sorry darling. i was choosing my clothes to wear to meet u. but i really didn't know u were there already...
N so we were like walking around northpoint first, and on our way there, at that interchange, ................ he stepped my BEAUTIFUL sandal and the leather snapped off... the backstrap. i was like.. "OMGGGGGGGG U STEPPED MY SHOE AGAIN!!!" plus... "u had finally spoilt it by stepping on it accidentally for so many times!".. u know.. That COWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW just won't admit that he stepped on my shoe all the time! He push the fault back to me and said i'd walked in such manner i'd somehow crossed his path and bla bla bla.. in the end it's all my faul and not his -___-" even when he stepped really hard on my feet i get the fault by being "careless" in the way i stand.
there there, and he bought me another pair of slippers. hahahaha.. he likes that "furry furry" slipper a lot lors.. BATA one.. den he bought that pink furry slippers. =/ my cow loves furry stuffs.. =D good good..
Today darling bought me a watch. Seiko Premier... sapphire glass and all.. it's beautiful.. woah.. the price quoted was $500!!! <-super ex ba. We bargained... hahaa.. and den buy 2 watches in all.. one for him another for me lors... =D he loves his watch. =.= every few minutes u'll find him looking at it so lovingly. haha.. he looks so cute when i caught him looking at his watch again, he just don't wanna admit that he kept doing that.
(*tsk..soon we'll have our Rado(s).. sure to have it!*)
N i treated him to Spaggetties for dinner.. ordered quite many things wor..
1. Cheese frondue
2. Salmon + some red wine duno what
3. Prawns + fettucine
4. Cranberry Juice
5. Plain water (counted? =x)
hahah.... i wanted to treat him coz of my graduation thingy..=) he's been so encouraging and he's been my great help for my PFP project as well.. he deserves this treat! =D
ok lar. End of my "so called" disaster.
anyways... i'd changed my blogskin cuz i find black too melancholy liaos... better to have more colors in my life than to just pure black, white, or grey. =) U ONLY LIVE UR LIFE ONCE AND FILL IT WITH ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING AND BEAUTIFUL COLOURS!
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |12:35 AM|
I rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn and i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn and i runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn....
3.5 rounds! hahaha! its only around the reservoir.. eh eh.. i consider quite "liao bu qi" le.. i just ran and hope i can run away from all the mess sia.. x_x
i went to run with a heavy heart. it's like... i was about to cry ? But of course, i didn't. why should i cry sia. why should the tears even got that right to fall out of my eyes. I disallow that! I am my own god and i know i can make it happen, or not. So i just stop all the "swings" that came to me and took off! woah woah.. the wind in my face.. so shuang ... i like that feeling.. ar... so it was like.. how far did i run?! hahaa.. let's see...
hm... i run about.. 3.8 km today? or 4 km ba.. its so tiring and all.. bla bla.. x_x.. i thought i could have run another round.. like 4 or 5 rounds.. but i'd decided to stop running. I know i can laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I stopped because, it's time for me to stop... i feel... the feeling is strong.
N i did not do anything today useful except that. the rest of the day was like.. wasted. on something that's super trivial. on something that is totally silly. on something i'd decided i should not waste my time on anymore. i must move on. so for now, i better start to read that transcriber manual ba.
oh ya. tomorrow is the day!! OF MY RESULTS!!! hahahaa.. hope i score well. I MUST SCORE WELL.
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |9:46 PM|
yea.. my new skin.. i like it =.=.. my favourite colour is still black.. and black and black.. bla.. =/
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |7:53 PM|
 | Laura took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and a..."
|
It's quite zhun.. but this is the 2nd time tt i took this quiz.. cuz e first time got "hanged"? den i couldn't rmb the sequence ler.. bt i only read e first sentence abt e quiz i had took it first la... haha.. so i gues.. this 1 is definitely more accurate. i'm seriously in need of relaxation..
FULL DIAGNOSIS!!! (don't need to click link ba)
Laura's Existing Situation
Seeks a close and understanding bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy, as a protection against anxiety and conflict.
Laura's Stress Sources
Disappointment and unfulfilled hopes have given rise to an anxious uncertainty, while doubts that things will be any better in the future lead to the postponement of essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, she is likely to immerse herself in the pursuit of trivialities as an escape route.
Laura's Restrained Characteristics
Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
Laura's Desired Objective
Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and affectionate understanding. Feels she has been treated with a lack of consideration and is upset and agitated as a result. Regards her situation as intolerable as long as her requirements are not complied with.
Laura's Actual Problem
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She is trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting her from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation.
Laura's Actual Problem #2
Tensions and stresses induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities or reserves of strength have led to considerable anxiety, and a sense of personal (but admitted) inadequacy. She seeks to escape into a more peaceful and problem-free situation, in which she will no longer have to assert herself or contend with so much pressure.
Check it out! @ www.colorquiz.com
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:34 PM|
alright.. i think i'm serious about playing shares. so for a start, i must gain full knowledge of its "go abouts" and the full picture of the trading process, calculations, methodology, and read up as much as i can about shares!
argh.. i must save lotsa money to get a Finance degree in London though. LONDON!!!!! my dream! hahaha.. i must get into their finance uni. =DDD... its a newly discovered passion... so i'm really interested in Investment yea?
hm...i'll play it double. I'll first work in an audit firm, then save the money to study in London, sch of finance. In this way, by the time i'm 30, i should be able to own a car and a flat, happily married and can travel liaos. afterall, i believe finance ppl can earn much higher than accounts people. Which money market shd i go in? i'm considering if i can work for an investment bank, be a dealer, or a backend swaps and option dealing table. =X
aiyarrrrrr... dream can come true de. what i said may seem so faraway... but i know. They will DEFINITELY happen. For they are gonna be mine one day.
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |5:03 PM|
End
*Clears the cobwebs, pluck e shrooms and cook*
It's the end the hell suffering. Its a relief, a mountainous amount of work, an impossible deadline to meet, an unimaginable demand from whom oppressed me, unreachable expectations, 100 million walts of concentrations(do not touch), fireworks galore in my brain all that caused my temporary insanity- i'd experienced.
I'd said a gazillion times how much i hated to do that project, that report, that powerpoint, the things i gotta study so hard for had extracted my soul from my body. I'd worked continuously from day to night, drowned myself in the ocean of notes, books, prints, newspapers, prospectus, annual reports, files, guideline and paper with workings done on them. My table was in such mess i gotta use the Emirates handcarry bag they gave me to contain my notes and use chairs to put some books on them. It's a horrifying sight ok. my room is in a horrible mess.
I'll get to the point now. Why is it so messy and crap?! It's all because of the masters courses i took in france. The results are out of their expectations. They suggest me to take up 2 more modules to like, measure... see which one is better den take which.. bla bla.. n said if i failed the module i took in NYP i get to retain immediately - no appeals will be accepted. So the bottomline is, i must take up the 2 modules no matter what, by saying that it was a suggestion was just to make it sound nicer. In fact, they threatened me. So.. TO HELL WITH NYP.
The 2 modules that i took was 1. Capital Markets and Financial Instrument (CMFI), 2. Personal Financial Planning (PFP).
1. CMFI
This module talks abt the share market. Everything about shares. Everything abt the equity market and it's financial instruments. u can find IPO, stock valuation, yields, WACC, MCC, IOS, everything on dividends, everything on capital structure, CAPM, SML, BLA BLA BLA HERE! n guess what...
31st May 2006
I received a project guideline...
I've got only 1.5 weeks to complete a report on everything that is covered in CMFI, do a presentation on it and be tested on everything that can be found in this module.
It's difficult for me because in france, i studied EVERYTHING ON BOND INSTEAD OF SHARES. I STUDIED A DIFFERENT MARKET, AND IT'S NOT THE EQUITY MARKET! so. It's a totally different thing for me. I gotta learn everything from scratch n this is hell. Try using 1.5 weeks to study the whole module everyone learnt them after 1 semester. It's not funny at all. Especially when everything is alien to u, n u know u gotta pass it no matter what it takes, u are left with no choice but conform to their rules and START TO MUG LIKE U HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE! I must graduate yaaaa? and this is the last motivation to keep me going.
6th June 2006
I'd finished the report 6 days after receiving the guidelines, how to do it and all. I swear to god, that i'd put in 200% of my efforts in doing it.... and guess what... IT WAS REJECTED AND I'M TOLD THAT THIS DOESN'T MATCH WITH MY LECT.'S EXPECTATION!OH HELL... so i took the report back and redo.. it's really hell.. and i took abt 2days to redo it... and worse, i couldn't complete it... bt i'd put in 1000% efforts on it.
8th June 2006
I need to hand the report up to my lect, before 5pm. I'd completed the report at 8th June, 4.15pm. took a cab down and rushed to school, for my report submission. I'd completed it on time. Unlucky things like the printer spoilt, bla bla, happened last minute. I was abt to cry. Really.
2. PFP
I'm here to clarify this. I am an accountancy(finance) student and this is my specialisation. I cannot work something that's totally out of my scope as it is not my field. Guess what. I'M FORCED TO TAKE UP THIS MODULE! AND THIS MODULE, IS AN INSURANCE MODULE!! HOW THE HELL CAN I STUDY EVERYTHING ABT INSURANCE FOR A WEEK AND BE TESTED EVERYTHING ON THAT, WHEN ALL ARE TAUGHT 6 MONTHS TO GAIN FULL KNOWLEDGE OF THIS MODULE?!
1st June 2006
For this module, i had only a week to complete it. Ok. look. i'd done it alright. I really really did it. I studied everything about insurance, i mean ALL. EVERYTHING. abt it in one week. furthermore, rushed a 12 page report that covers EVERYTHING abt PFP, did a ppt abt PFP and then.. was tested on EVERYTHING abt PFP. Just in... 1 week.
8th June 2006
I'd rushed the report like mad. Serious. and yes.. i'd completed the report on 8th June, 1.30pm. It's hell. and see, i still gotta finish with cmfi after this.
9th June 2006
Both CMFI and PFP had the same deadline. N on this day, and that is TODAY. I'm on for a presentation. I'd finally done everything last minute. I hadn't complete the ppt for "just" CMFI until 4.30am. Darling helped me with the PFP ppt, and it was until about 4am, den can he finally complete the whole thing.
!!! The time finally came and the presentation was like.. very sucky. I stuttered. I stammered. I couldn't compose myself... i was under tremendous stress. i just... brushed it through.
Viva examination was crappier. I couldn't structure my answers well. I couldn't answer them good enough so that they will give me distinction for it. However, i'd tried my best for both CMFI and PFP... though i couldn't answer some of their questions... they just kept bombarding me with questions and questions.. it's about 6 questions in total...
The sleeping hours was like crap. This insane amount of time i'd put in for both projects and examination was truly hell. I woke up at 2pm each day, start to work until 6am on average. Once, i'd woke up at 1pm, and work all the way until the next morning, 10am. I don't feel like eating lunch n dinner. I just kept working and pushing myself to my limits. I'd suffered erratic sleeping patterns for ... 8 days.
Whatever so. This is the end.
I truly feel satisfied. I didn't know i'd such capabilities at all.. and for the first time in my life, i broke down for more than 5 times and picked myself up so quickly, and back to work. I cried a fair "load". Its all due to stress (+ depression). I thought i couldn't finish it. Really...
---------------------------------------------------------------
Goals
Not exactly "goals" but.. just something that i wanted to achieve or do..
1. Be an auditor. Not assistant.
2. Study in University of London, major in Finance.
3. Save about $600 a month for my future flat. It is impt.
4. Get a presentable watch. DARLING!! I want that Criteriaaa...
5. Operation. On my teeth. Must get it done.
6. Be rich. I hate poverty
7. Be Married by 26-27.
8. Invest in stocks. I know how to play shares though.. =x this is something very important and needa be very careful about it.
9. ---------- The REST, till i'd thought abt them-----------
ok. last word.
I'd finally update this blog. aint honeymoon-ing for the past week and all... wakakaka
*Goodnews* =)))
BUT ITS THE END OF ALL MY EDUCATIONAL TIES WITH NYP! ~*YAY*~ =D
My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:54 PM|