Monday, August 21, 2006
hmmmm.
loads of things to read, and yes, it's all about reading, picking up your confidence and then be proud and have 100% faith in your product. also about rejections, dejections and picking up oneself and move on happily. i've learnt optimism. which is good. i've learnt to gain confidence once again. i've learnt how to walk with your chins up, each step bold and stable, and a humble smile on my face. i've learnt how to be THICK SKINNED<-- not fully, but on training yes, must really be thick skinned to my snr sales manager. hehe...
i'm happy actually, but at the same time, worry. i'm afraid i'll not perform and get kicked off or sth. =( i'm afraid that i'm not producing results. i'm afraid of so many things... but i know, i can do it. if i can't, i think can just live my life as a maggot or termite. useless parasites that does nothing productive at all.
my life's been as such. arguments and conflicts are just parts and parcels of life. today the snr sales manager saw my "wedding band" and she asked... "you married?" i said "no." then she said.. "it seem as though you're already married with this ring on.. and u are so young..." i laughed. then she recalled... "oh ya, your boyfriend is nw in NTU... haha.."
and ye, had lunch with them all.. head of sales, snr sales manager, snr asst general manager... sat in the snr asst gm's mazda 6, he just got it changed, and he everytime tio TOTO one lor..@#$%^&!@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%... quick pick also CAN! liew. and win BIG leh.. so envious.. haha... my head told me to stay on, no matter how hard, so long as i'm hardworking, i can really own a car soon. ~_~ then talk talk talk.. he even wanna put me in their committee........ "hello... it's just my first day..." lol... but i'm so happy lahs.. they are such cute people.. =)
It's a training day today anyways~ and now i must do my HOMEWORK LIAOS! hahaha.. hey, sales executive got homework too ok!
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |9:08 PM|
Saturday, August 19, 2006
No matter HOW MUSHY it is, this is what I will tell you. Something you told me before, and I hadn't forget any single word you said. I'm blessed to have you. No matter what, he's still there, always there for me.
I can be held by him to be cured of all uncertainties, he will be by my side.
I wouldn't be alone and we can solve all problems together.
I trust that he can do that and much more for me.
He's worthy of all my efforts and love, and I love him instinctively. For the better people we are when we're together.
He'll be my clear head when I'm lost, my strength when I'm tired, my eyes when I fail to see, vice versa too when he needs me..
I can give him my all and I know he'll give me his. He'll show me the real him and I'll show him how I really am, and the wondrous thing is that we'd only love each other more after that.
I want him to be around, I want him to hold me to sleep every night, sayangs me and tell me everything's gonna be alright.
I love him like crazy and he know I'd support him. In time to come, he'll have all I can give.
I support him in everything he do. Every feeling and idea that he has, I will respect them all.
He needs me just as much and I never once regretted being with him. That alone makes me confident that we're not drifting apart and when we're together, I'll look at him, remember this emotion and love him even more.
Let me tell you once again that I'll give and share with you my everything, that you are the most special someone to me, cuz you're everything and more. So close your eyes and think of me, feel my love and my thoughts from here. If it brings you a smile, you shall know that I'll always support you.
We'll fall even deeper and even deeper in love with each other. But he's never alone. I'm falling too. Love me more. It's all the time that I want to be with you.
I grabbed your hand back then, since then you've always wanted to protect me, so do I. But I didn't know in what way I should do so.
I feel I've known you all my life... so tell me you want me too. You can't ever escape. This will makes me feel warmer and secure too. I love you so...
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |3:52 AM|
Friday, August 18, 2006
Lousy. n i really feel so lousy.
I don't understand how people can just be like that. THey can say ALL THAT THEY WANT and did nothing to prove/support what they say. Men or women. I just despise them ALL. Frig man.
They might not be the worst human but they just just as bad. I do not want to say much. But how can such people just say things that they don't really mean out of their mouths so casually?
Worse. Some people can even try garnering people's sympathy and act as if they are so hurt and poor. I cannot stand looking at them. Let alone talking to them.
Talking big. Brag. Fortunate yet can "kao pei kao bu" about how tough their life is. If you really hate it, then you can just quit whatever you are doing. That shuts your nonsense up. Stop making it SO BIG as if no one knows.
I really admire people who are so... just so humble. I don't understand how they can stand such pressure and move on. Yet! they can still smile as if nothing had happened and they, themselves, had really took it in their stride and trudge on without further considerations. How I wish I'm like that too.
Anyway, for all I care, such people should not even mark an existence in my life man.
All that I said were just meant for people who deserves to be despised. If you think you're not one of them, you can cease feeling bad nor stingy, for these words are not meant for you to see, let alone to understand. I don't give a flying fuck for what you really feel, lousy or not. Here's my territory.
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:33 PM|
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Today I went for an interview, and the office is situated sooooooooooooooooo far... from yishun. >_< It's in Henderson road, ard Bukit Merah. Farrrrrrrrrrr right? >.< went there by mrt, took 1.5hrs. den go home by bus. took also ard 1.25 hr.kaos. and i sit until my butt "kai hua".
Applied for the position as an advertising sales executive. The position sounds cool ba. The jobscope is very like me. All the best to myself anyway. Wave goodbye to slugging and nua-ing days. It's not really for me. I'm far more useful...
Anyways. Recently I'm kind of addicted to the game called "Audition". Sth like DDR but it's using fingers to key the right set of arrows in a very very short time given. =) and i love that song sung by Rain: Instead of Goodbye. So nice!!! +D
hehe... and yea, i want to start a business as soon as i'm financially abled. it is what i had always wanted to.
Darling went NTU le. His life is getting busier and busierrrrrr and buzzzzzzzierrrrrrrrr....... N he's really vexed cuz of his modules and which minor to choose. Today he told me he's going to take up "Forensic Science". It scared me to *****. I'm just very shocked. Cuz it's so....... aiya. no comments. Whatever he like, he choose, though i really don't like or don't quite like, i will still support him la. Just. Don't. Go. Against. What. I. Hate. That's it. =))) He's decided to drop his Japanese Lang at Bunka too. Hais. I still think he should go for that, all the way. Cuz he's just left with that Advance course i think. Why give up right? hmmm.. but he's got his own way of thinking la, so, he'll decide ba.
His lessons are really shiong also. MOnday to Friday machiam no days free one lor. Dismiss at 7.30 or 8.30pm. Go sch at 7.30pm also. Scary. >_<. Bo bian. Must be understanding lor. So unlike me. I cannot be angry cuz he dismiss till so late, neither can i blame him for not having so much time for me. So in return what can i do? I must find a very shiong job too lor. That can keep me so bloody occupied and can roll lots of money for me too. If not ah. Situation can be jia lat. BTW, 90% of my colleagues own a car liaos. I want one too. Argh. but get my license first lah. ~~~~~
Advertising. Sreiously, that's what i'd always wanted to major in. Sadly, i studied accountancy. Nevermind, *pats my own shoulder*. I still have loads of chances. I just want to be independent and live on my own money and with my own ability to get what i really wanted; car, condo, travel, happiness to others and myself.
Darling. Jia you too ba. * i will still support u. *
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |9:20 PM|
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
o.O some random postsah ha! and i did a quiz on my IDEAL SEXUAL PARTNER. well, i don't really NEED to do it cuz.. er hem. Why would i even need one? but well, i'm more than satisfied to have Vic ard me though. He's more than just a SEXUAL partner. He's definitely more than just that cuz i know best. so hmmm... But well, if i really gotta name one, then Vic must have been the one who fits into "my" bill perfectly. =) I don't needa find any. Bleah. *smiles*
laura, your ideal sexual partner is a Type 4.
A Type 4 partner radiates warmth and love. They are affectionate during sex and will rarely shy away from telling you how they feel about you. This is someone you can always rely on to be honest and sincere, since sex is the ultimate expression of their trust in you.
Both physically and emotionally, a Type 4 is a sexual explorer. Orgasm is rarely the driving goal with this person and because of this, they are likely to be creative and able to take you places you may never have expected.
But how do you spot your Type 4 sexual partner before becoming intimate with them? Anyways. As time goes by, lots of things took it's turn to change. They don't change in a split moment do they? Nor do they ALL change together at a time. Things like acceptance, which is the hardest, can get too difficult for both of us to handle. We can get very very upset and depressed but it's always him who makes me feel so treasured and protected. The ultimate security is invincible. I've never ever met such a persistent and "intense" human being before. How easy it is for me to keep hurl abuses at you when i verbalised all those hard feelings and smash it unforgivingly into your dignity and pride. For a man who can take all sorts of tantrum and even tries to understand so hard, even penetrated to my deepest region of my own ugly character. Accept it so lovingly and just understand my "so-called" difficulties to change them. I'm so sorry to have hurt you so many times. But I shall worship resilience now. I shall worship perseverance and acceptance too. I shall let happiness guide my way of life. I will let the people around me know one thing. Only ONE SINGLE THING. That is,
i appreciate all their efforts they had previously showered on me. From this day on, I'm going to acknowledge it and reciprocate.This will be my new goal in life. I'm so blind in the past, to not even have seen this worst part in me. Though i often say "VIC AH! U BLIND ONE LEH!!! ALAMAK!!!" ........ but he's actually the one who can see further than me. One who can look into possibilities that is not even within my vision range. He's destine to complete my life. =X
My mother is the smartest woman of the era. Why do i bring this out all of a sudden? Hahaha... cuz as the title of this post goes...
"o.O some random posts."
=D
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |1:55 AM|
Saturday, August 05, 2006
If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time - R. KellyBackground Vocals: Sparkle & Bruce Kelly
How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing I´d be singing this song some day
And now I´m sinking, sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door
1 - If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin´ you´d still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then darlin´ you, you´d still be mine
Funny, funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye
Why oh why oh why should one have to go on suffering
When every day I pray please come back to me
Repeat 1
And you had enough love for the both of us
But I, I, I did you wrong, I admit I did
But now I´m facing the rest of my life alone, whoa
Repeat 1
I´d never hurt you (If I could turn back)
Never do you wrong (If I could turn back)
And never leave your side (If I could turn back)
If I could turn back the hands
There´d be nothing I wouldn´t do for you
(If I could turn back)
Forever honest and true to you
(If I could turn back)
If you accept me back in your heart, I love you
(If I could turn back the hands)
(If I could turn back)
That would be my will
(If I could turn back)
Darlin´ I´m begging you to take me by the hands
(If I could turn back the hands)
I´m going down, yes I am
(If I could turn back)
Down on my bended knee, yeah
(If I could turn back)
And I´m gonna be right there until you return to me
(If I could turn back the hands)
(If I could turn back)
If I could just turn back that little clock on the wall
(If I could turn back)
Then I´d come to realize how much I love you
Love you love you love you
(If I could turn back the hands)
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |2:16 PM|
Friday, August 04, 2006
resigned liaos. wahahaha. that job is not for me ! >_< i'm not a deskbound person, promised me 40% data entry and what do i get? wah lao, i got 100% data entry job instead. might as well hire a data entry clerk. fuck man. and that supervisor sucks a big time too lor. heng that i zhao if not i will surely take mc all day long n show my worsT attitude. fuck man. it's not about irresponsibility. it is about their unprofessionalism. they are TOO UNPROFESSIONAL.
anyways, I'M SO HAPPY NOW! i'm finally FREED. =D
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |4:21 PM|
Thursday, August 03, 2006
yesterday darling drove me home... 1st time! wahahaha.. cuz i OT till 11+... *hugs* love ya
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |10:00 AM|
yesterday darling drove me home... 1st time! wahahaha.. cuz i OT till 11+... *hugs* love ya
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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |10:00 AM|
